2 of us
Sydney Morning Herald
Saturday March 12, 2011
Eleven years ago, flight attendant Sandy Hoby, now 39, had her lower colon removed due to bowel cancer. Five years later, while trekking in Nepal, she met engineer Brad Jackson, 38. Within six months they had bought a house together. Last year, they climbed Mount Everest.Sandy: The shock of discovering I had bowel cancer was terrible. I was terrified of losing my job, I was terrified of what men would think of me and I hated my 24-centimetre scar. Having a bowel problem gave me such self-esteem issues, the only way to cope was to do something amazing. I decided on the hardest thing I could imagine: climbing a mountain. When I met [Indonesian-based] Brad in Nepal, I had just finished a natural-bodybuilding competition - another self-esteem test - so I was bright orange from fake tan. I was also in a relationship with someone else, so although we ended up walking for three days together, I didn't think of him as a potential partner. I didn't even think we'd see each other again. We exchanged email addresses, though, so when he told me he'd be in Singapore at the same time I was there for work we arranged to meet. By this time, my relationship had ended and when I saw Brad again something very strange happened. I thought, "This is the man I am going to marry."Something obviously changed for him, too, because he started coming to Sydney to see me during his time off, instead of staying in Jakarta. We bought a house and started climbing together, which made us incredibly close. You see each other in terrible conditions on the side of a mountain: sunburned faces (one time Brad's lips got so burned they fused together), going to the toilet in the middle of the night in a tiny tent - you have nothing left to hide.In 2008, we were invited to take part in an Everest expedition. The conditions there are difficult for anyone, let alone someone with no intestines. I had constant diarrhoea, so eventually I told Brad to go ahead [of me]. I had just made it to Camp III when I was told Brad was unconscious in hospital. He had altitude sickness. I lost the plot and didn't have the mental strength to continue. When we returned home, I said, "I really am never doing that again." I meant it and got very upset when Brad kept talking about a second attempt. The following year we eloped to the Cook Islands. It was perfect. We spent the day kayaking, then got married on the beach afterwards. It was exactly what we both wanted.Back in Sydney in October 2009 we were in an outdoor gear shop when I saw a poster that left me dumbfounded. It was for an Everest climb to raise awareness of bowel cancer. We called the guys and ended up arranging to join them on the ascent in March 2010. We began training and were due to fly to Nepal for a training climb when I fell over in a florist's and broke my foot. I spent two weeks crying before restrategising my training. I tied my feet together, got a snorkel stuffed with cotton wool to simulate altitude, then swam up and down a swimming pool for hours. On summit day on Everest we had terrible weather. The blizzard was so thick we couldn't see anything in front of us, but I thought, "No way. I am not turning round." Brad and I reached the summit together. We were ecstatic. BRAD: The first time I met Sandy she was slightly frantic. She'd just crossed the Cho La Pass and some of her friends were having problems. I offered to go back with food and water to help her find them. After that we bumped into each other a few times and eventually started walking together. We never stopped talking. It was one of those "meet a stranger in the middle of nowhere and get everything off your chest" conversations.When we subsequently arranged to meet in Singapore, I had no expectations. I was just catching up with someone I suspected would be a very good friend. Over a couple of drinks things changed. It was a mix of factors but I suppose the fact that we both love the mountains, have lived a global life and are semi-nomadic meant we gelled very well. I felt so comfortable with Sandy and fell so madly in love with her so quickly that everything just felt right.She told me about how ill she'd been but I didn't find it an issue. I don't mean to be flippant - it's obviously part of her character and strength - but as to the relationship, it was never part of the equation.We are a good climbing team. I am the gearhead, so the technical stuff is my domain. Sandy is more into the health aspects and the sanitation, which I would leave by the wayside. She does our laundry and I boil ice to cook our food.When we returned from our first attempt at Everest, I felt cheated. The sickness I got was quite random, so I was determined to climb again as soon as I got the money together.The way it eventually came about was one of those nice random things that happen in life. That poster just screamed out to us, although when Sandy broke her foot I did fear that might be the end of it. If it had been me, I think I might have given up completely, but Sandy has such tenacity and physical and mental strength she just overcame it. I forget that side of her sometimes. I suppose it's because when you're doing the shopping at the supermarket you can't see toughness, but then I see her on the mountain and it's minus 20 degrees and she's climbing through snow and ice and it reminds me how amazing she is. How do we follow up Everest? Being the biggest doesn't make it the best. There are thousands of mountains that are more challenging, interesting, remote and in more pristine parts of the world. Because I work 12-hour days on an oil rig, and it's a very sterile environment, my mind is always buzzing with new ideas.Although we spend half the year apart, with Skype and emails it's not the barrier it used to be. We can stay in contact, and because we have all these goals we are always striving for the next thing, so we're never in a rut. In fact, I think being away for four weeks at a time kind of revitalises our relationship. When I get off a plane or she gets off a plane, there is always this wonderful feeling of seeing someone after an absence; it rekindles the flame.
© 2011 Sydney Morning Herald